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Media Relations: Hear Steve Jobs and obey, filthy hacks!

August 7th, 2007 at 4:19 pm

Source:Valleywag

Toogle many Googlers!Despite CEO Eric Schmidt’s promises during Google’s most recent earnings call, his company continues to metastasize. This time, it’s threatening to swallow up all of New York’s Chelsea neighborhood. I have an idea: Rather than lease expensive new real estate, why not boot some current Googlers to make room for new ones? Which brings us to this, the second edition of Toogle Many Googlers! Want to nominate a Googler for toogling? Send in a name and pic.

Tim ArmstrongTim Armstrong, we don’t understand what you do. We thought the whole point of Google’s AdWords was that the ads sold themselves, automatically, over this Internet thing we keep hearing about. But instead of keeping the servers running, you oversee a bunch of steak-and-martini-gulping, Glengarry Glen Ross-quoting, macho-posturing, flesh-and-blood salesmen. What’s up with that? I guess someone has to manage the goons until Larry and Sergey perfect their salesbot prototype, but on top of your Google salary and options, you’ve got a side job gaming Google’s advertising system at Associated Content. If you like that startup so much, why don’t you go run it? Tim Armstrong, you’re one Googler too many!
Peter Fleischer wants to see your man-boobsWhen it comes to privacy, Google’s name is mud. Clearly, the advice coming from global privacy counsel Peter Fleischer can’t be worth the salary his fancy title commands. On top of that, you seem to think that fat guys can’t be trusted. Or at any rate, you’re waaaay too interested in how jiggly your male colleagues’ pecs are. Here’s what you wrote to the Financial Times earlier this year:
Men should lose their “business attire” and wear T-shirts to work. Wouldn’t you like to know whether your business partners are fit? Why should you trust a man in business if he abuses his own body?

We think you’re spending too much time at the Google gym, and not enough worrying about your users’ privacy rights. Our counsel: Peter Fleischer, exercise in the privacy of your own home!

jason_warner.jpgHas anyone not been spammed, willy-nilly, by a Google recruiter recently? If so, you have Jason Warner to blame. As head of staffing for Google’s online sales and operations, he’s overseen a department which can’t seem to recruit even for its own needs. Word is that his operation is a constantly swinging revolving door. On top of that, he’s made no measurable progress in correcting Google’s sausage-factory status by hiring more women. He has ties to troubled Seattle job board Jobster, and I’m sure his colleagues are praying for the day he just gets a job there. Jason Warner, if you really think Google’s a meritocracy, and not the boys’ club you’ve helped build, then wouldn’t you agree it’s time you made room for someone more competent?

Source:Valleywag
Worried about your career longevity? Check out Valleywag Jobs:

For only $25 your job could be here! Submit it today.

Source:Valleywag

IAC CEO Barry Diller tightens his grip on Connected Ventures, the IAC-controlled parent of CollegeHumor.com, by installing minion Moshe Koyfman as its COO. [CNNMoney]

Source:Valleywag
Jobs says boom, hacks write it downWhen Fake Steve Jobs — sorry, I mean Dan Lyons of Forbes — parodies real Apple CEO Steve Jobs’s imperious view of Silicon Valley’s subservient press corps, it’s so over the top that some might think he’s kidding. But he’s not, as this exchange with a reporter from today’s keynote, where he announced new hardware and software products, handily demonstrates:

HACK: How are you going to market this out to the customer base to make sure they understand the integration between the apps?
JOBS: That’s what you’re here for! To write about our products.

(Photoillustration by Jesus Diaz for Gizmodo)

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