If you hadn’t noticed, I got married and went on a honeymoon. Did you miss me? Apparently so. Gizmodo gets banned from CES. Golson asks Calacanis for a job. Our very special correspondent pickets against the new pay system. Where’s was Denton with the “too insidery” warnings? Oh that’s right, blogging for Gawker. Here’s what really happened during the first two weeks of 2008, according to a speed-read of my feeds. On my next honeymoon, I’m bringing a laptop.

• Facebook is slower than a bunch of social networks you’ve never heard of, according to Watchmouse. Yes, Zuck’s baby is slower than RateItAll, Infield Parking, Buzznet and most especially, Consumating. Which is of course everyone’s favorite. MySpace is not on the list.

• The Pew Internet & American Life project discovered that Web video was more popular in 2007 than in 2006.
• Robert Scoble appeared on television. Twice.
• Iminlikewithyou founder Charles Forman told an audience of 450 that, despite what you’ve heard, he’s not actually an asshole.
• Jupitermedia CEO Alan Meckler posted seven times. 6-word version: Things are great. Ignore stock price.
• Jason Calacanis has 11,900 friends on Twitter, LinkedIn, Mahalo and Facebook. And 495 on Mahalo. By the way, he wants to have dinner with all of you.
• Yahoo’s CEO unveiled a new mobile Web platform at CES that will save the company. Just like it did last year.
• And, most notably, the Flight of the Conchords performed at CES:

(Photo by ThrasherDave)

You’re a spaz with the ribbons and paper. And of course, as an engineer it’s all about optimizing for my time, etc. Don’t show up with sloppy giftwrap this year. Take your gifts to the nearest poshtastic shopping center and let someone who knows what they’re doing handle it. I called ahead for you, and Gridskipper helpfully mapped out the coordinates.

San Francisco

Westfield San Francisco Centre
865 Market St.
San Francisco, CA

Papyrus, on the 3rd floor. While you’re almost there, may I recommend the top-floor spa to get away from the holiday craziness. Bring lots of cash for that.

Macy’s
170 O’Farrell St.
San Francisco, CA

Go to the 6th floor of the main store, not the separate menswear building. They’ll gladly wrap your non-Macy’s purchases for a few bucks.

That other part of San Francisco

Macy’s
1 Stonestown Mall
San Francisco, CA

Again, they’ll wrap non-Macy’s purchases for a tiny fee.

Palo Alto

Stanford Shopping Center
680 Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, CA

WaMu — the bank, not the killer whale — has an outdoor stand in the center of the mall near Abercrombie & Fitch.

San Jose

There are two gift spots. One by Nordstrom’s, and one by the food court and Armani Exchange, where you should ask if they carry Armani (Red) sunglasses for Africa and if they don’t, tell them Bono and I are personally hurt.

Westfield Valley Fair
2855 Stevens Creek Blvd.
San Jose, CA

East Bay

Bayfair Center
15555 14th St.
San Leandro, CA

Don’t go to Bay Street in Emeryville. They told me to go to Bayfair. No one answers the phone at Bayfair, so I haven’t verified this one.

Source:Valleywag

newVideoPlayer(”Blockles.flv”, 475, 376);
Here’s the infamous Blockles, the Tetris clone from Iminlikewithyou founder Charles Forman. “I dont know what Tetris is,” Forman told me. “Blockles is a falling block puzzle game.” Right. One that I kicked your ass at, boyo. (Check out the sweet swap move I pulled about 25 seconds in. Bam.)

Compete.com says Iminlikewithyou, Forman’s online dating site, has grown 58 percent in the last month. But that’s only up to 21,000 or so “people,” so big deal.

Even if growth keeps up at that rate, marketing expert Seth Godin — who otherwise raves about Forman’s site — will tell you, “There’s no way, none, that tradtional online ad models will generate revenue for sites like this.”

No revenue? No problem! Forman just wants to own the market, he says: “You look at games on the internet in the U.S., and they are all shit. I will own the casual gaming space in the U.S. within the next year.”

Keep in mind, this is the guy whose business card reads, “So … chances are, you were in like with me. And … chances are, I gave you this card because I didn’t feel like talking to you anymore. Just kidding! LOLZ!”

Ads by Pheedo

Source:Valleywag

Back by popular demand, we bring you part four of our three-part Valleywag quiz, “Googler or Muppet?” For our encore, we’re going straight to the top. Guitar-wielding Janice may be the the driving talent behind the Electric Mayhem, but the rockers would never have gotten anywhere without band manager Scooter. Likewise, Google CEO Eric Schmidt brings order to Google’s chaotic creativity, when he’s not flying to see his girlfriend on his party plane. Can you tell the two apart?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Missed the first three parts?

• Valleywag Quiz: Googler or Muppet? Part one

• Valleywag Quiz: Googler or Muppet? Part two
• Valleywag Quiz: Googler or Muppet? Part three

Source:Valleywag

Charles Forman is currently building Blockles, a surprisingly Tetris-like online game for his dating site, Iminlikewithyou. Why do we suspect he’s not going to be making any friends at Tetris owner Electronic Arts?

“I have a reputation for being an asshole,” Iminlikewithyou founder Charles Forman told me at the Reddit party in Greenwich Village the other night. “I don’t know why.” Truth is, Forman does occasionally transcend his reputation. Witness, for example, this photo here where he wears a Mark Zuckerberg name tag. But, folks, after a quick look at the business card he was handing out Saturday night, you will at the very least be able to understand the roots of this misunderstanding.

Here it is. Forman told me he made it to parody some of the custom business cards he’d been seeing around Manhattan. Fine, but truth in jest, right? Click to see it in its full glory.