If you’re worth $20 billion, I guess you can’t just go on a vacation. Even if you just got married. Larry Page and new bride Lucy Southworth headed down to Argentina after their Necker Island wedding last weekend — and Larry promptly met with Argentina’s recently elected president Cristina Kirchner. Kirchner bragged about her country’s software industry and Larry thumped his chest about alternative energy. Muy romantico. At least Larry continued to rock the urban mullet. Now go on your frigging honeymoon, okay? (Photo by Infobae.com)

You know, I’m perfectly fine with funtrepreneur-in-residence Jason Calacanis telling us to “please die.” I’m totally OK when Calacanis emails me “Subject: Idiot,” because I can take a joke, especially when it’s true. But dammit, Janet, Calacanis has stopped posting pics of his puppies. Valleywag has been forced to outsource to Professor Chips (above), winner of last year’s Babies vs Puppies showdown. After a week where the big stories were Larry Page planting one on new bride Lucy Southworth, Heidi Roizen singing her thighs thin, Google ripping off AOL — AOL? — the Times poaching yours truly, and Megan “Leggy” McCarthy leaving Valleywag for Wired, we could all use some face-blurpy time.

We hear that Larry Page’s wedding to Lucy Southworth on Necker Island Sunday was a smaller affair than widely reported — only 170 people, not 600. Confirmed in attendance: Richard Branson, who officiated, and Bono, who read a poem he wrote for the couple and performed a song. Oh, and also San Francisco’s hunky god-mayor, Gavin Newsom, shown here with Page and Google cofounder Brin. How do we know Newsom was there?

Well, a good source tells us so. But hard evidence backs up our tipster. Newsom’s public schedule notes the normally mayor had no public events. San Francisco supervisor Sean Elsbernd filled in as acting mayor. And I got a somewhat exasperated spokeswoman in his office to confess, finally, that Newsom was out of the country over the weekend.

Last year, Newsom claimed that he isn’t particularly close to Page or Brin. And here he is going to Page’s wedding. A politician lying? Shocking.

(Photo by Steve Jennings/WireImage.com)

From a helpful tipster, the first-ever photo from the wedding ceremony of Larry Page and Lucy Southworth. The groom wore a white buttondown shirt, untucked; the bride, a cream strapless number, with her hair loose. Pics or it didn’t happen, eh? After the jump, visual confirmation that Sir Richard Branson was the Google cofounder’s best man.

In the neutral parlance of stormtrackers, the pattern of rain and winds now hitting the British Virgin Islands is just a “tropical disturbance.” But I have to think Google cofounder Larry Page, who married Lucy Southworth yesterday on Richard Branson’s Necker Island, is more than disturbed by it. Gale-force winds and heavy rains will make it difficult if not impossible to shuttle from island to island, and conditions may be unsafe for helicopters and small private jets to take off. Hundreds of celebrity guests and top Google executives may well be stranded.

The Page-Southworth wedding was scheduled after the traditional end of Caribbean hurricane season, but the increasingly warm seas which spawn storms did not respect that timing. Page has never met a process he doesn’t believe he can improve. In Mother Nature, he may have just met his match. Caribbean weather is unpredictable. For a group of people who compulsively plan everything, the Googlers must be losing it.

The coconut telegraph linking Valleywag’s Virgin Islands correspondents with headquarters in San Francisco is down. Our sources who promised us an inside look at Larry Page’s wedding to Lucy Southworth, believed to be taking place right now on Richard Branson’s Necker Island, have been silent since this morning. And now I think I know why: What may be a tropical storm system is forming northeast of the archipelago. After the jump, a shot taken today by a Valleywag informant showing the extremely windy conditions there.

Rough weather has so far served to hinder paparazzi on boats, but that lucky stroke may now be turning against Larry and Lucy. Since the festivities are going late into the evening tonight, the couple and their 600 celebrity guests — rumored to include Bono, Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, and as many as three U.S. presidents — may find themselves stuck on Necker, Gilligan’s Island-style. Good thing Page required that their passports be up to date and valid well past the weekend.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in the British Virgin Islands, as you can see from this sunset snap submitted to us. And strangely quiet. That’s because, we hear from a source working the festivities, Larry Page and Lucy Southworth didn’t get married.

Before you panic, know that there were no cold-footed billionaires, no runaway brides. It’s just that the celebrity wedding, widely believed to have taken place yesterday, is actually taking place this afternoon. Hope that tent is solid, as the weather forecast calls for thunderstorms. More as we hear it.

If rumors are correct, Larry Page and Lucy Southworth should be married by now. One hopes that they’re back to a suite on Richard Branson’s Necker Island resort, recapping their mile-high makeout session from last year.

Back when we had party correspondent Megan McCarthy to kick around, I made a point of assigning her all interviews with the German press. But now Leggy’s headed to Wired, so when Der Spiegel called to interview me about Larry and Lucy’s wedding, I had to handle it myself. And I think I acquitted myself pretty well. I think. The Google translation was a little unclear. “Webgemeinde baffles,” indeed. Larry, when you get back, could you get someone working on this?

Source:Valleywag

At last, intimate details of Google cofounder Larry Page’s wedding today are drifting in. How intimate? Well, let’s put its this way: We know where Page is going to do his business. Seems the multibillionaire won’t settle for a mere Porta-Potty. No, according to a source on the scene, he’s contracted with Royal Restrooms to provide a “Regal Portable Restroom Experience.” After the jump, a shot of the Googler’s toilets.

Back when we had party correspondent Megan McCarthy to kick around, I made a point of assigning her all interviews with the German press. But now Leggy’s headed to Wired, so when Der Spiegel called to interview me about Larry and Lucy’s wedding, I had to handle it myself. And I think I acquitted myself pretty well. I think. The Google translation was a little unclear. “Webgemeinde baffles,” indeed. Larry, when you get back, could you get someone working on this?